April 14, 2014

It's Mid-April, Do You Know Where Your Goals Are?



When I made my goals at the beginning of the year, I was very pumped and knew I would rock this year out. By February, I was like "man, the year is flying by but I am still about to take this year by storm". It is now April, and I am looking around like a fool. I am absolutely not where I need to be in terms of working on my year goals. It is so darn easy to get distracted and off focus. It is even easier to lose sight of the bigger picture. A revelation hit me the other day. I am so hard on myself for not meeting these goals and focusing on the small stuff that I don't accomplish what I want to accomplish AND I am not taking time to enjoy life. Every weekend I make these plans that are centered towards my goals and I don't make time for anything else. I am definitely not growing that way, and I am not doing myself or anyone else a favor when I'm in my feelings from being over stimulated. Lesson: even if I am spending a day doing nothing, that is OK--ONCE IN A WHILE. These days are needed every once in a while and are necessary to keep me refreshed and pumped but then it is back to work. This week I am examining my goals, adjusting my strategy and moving forward. I encourage everyone to do the same because there are many different routes to accomplishing a goal and that route may change during the process. Goals are like children; they need to be nourished with positivity, brought up with consistency and be checked on all the time.

Do you know where you goals are?

February 16, 2014

After the First Date: Run a Credit Check

Love is a helluva drug.

It really is. The feeling a person gets when they are in love is parallel to some FDA approved, stress relieving drugs. That goes to say that some of the same side effects may occur; insomnia, extreme thirst, delirium and death.

Just kidding.

Not really. I mean these things often occur as a result of love or lack thereof. Now, add to that list bad credit? This is now a legit problem.

How to avoid said problem? Simple, request a credit check from your mate once you feel he may be serious dating material. The explanation for this is simple: the deeper in you are, the more forgiving you are. If you discuss finances and credit with someone in the very beginning when you have little to nothing to lose, it is to your betterment. Do you want to find out Earl has terrible credit when it is time to buy your first house together or when it's time to buy your first dinner together? I would say the latter.

Solution? Be up front. Early on in the relationship ask him what his financial goals are. Ask him what his biggest purchases have been. Find out what his biggest form of debt is. Ask him how much debt he is in. Seriously. And if he is so proud that he can't tell you then you don't need him. If he gets all nervous and he thinks that you are a gold digger, he is probably broke. Men who are in control of their finances don't fret so easily. The truth is if you are trying to build something with someone these types of questions won't bother you.

Should you really ask him after the first date? Maybe. Use your judgement. Bring it up once you've determined he is someone you can see yourself with or else you may wait until you are too far in to find out.

I met a guy who was in his early 20's and was in the process of filing bankruptcy. I am not kidding. He told me this up front because he felt that it was a badge of honor to even have had enough asset to qualify for bankruptcy. To his credit, he is somewhat right. However, bro you fudged up that bad that you had to file bankruptcy? I don't want those problems.

I met a guy who had over 60k in student loans. He had a master's degree and was making 35K a year. There is nothing wrong with that, however, he said if he only made 35k for the rest of his life, he would be okay with that. Sir, I would not. Check please! His financial  mindset did not match mines at all and for that I have to go.

 I dodged several silver bullets by knowing what I needed to know very early on and believe if these questions were asked upfront it would save a lot of divorces later on.

When do you think it is "appropriate" to bring up money when dating someone?
.

January 6, 2014

Things I Am Not Here For In 2014

I'm back! I am super excited to be back. A bunch of stuff has happened in 2013: good, bad and terrible. Nonetheless, I am thankful for all of it and excited for what 2014 has in store. It's almost a week into the new year and I have figured out what I am NOT here for in 2014. I read this post and it inspired me because sadly I can definitely relate to her list. While I do believe in setting resolutions so I can't agree with the article completely, I can resolve not to entertain certain things in 2014. Here is my list of things I am not here for in 2014:

Selfishness: I am not here for anyone who is selfish; not a man, woman, child, pet turtle, not a damn thing. If you are worried about you, I can dig it because I am only worried about me and that leaves us with nothing to talk about because I can discuss myself by myself. Selfish people have no room in my space this year.

Negativity: I am not here for anyone who is negative, period. You know those people who make fun of people who make new year resolutions or goals? Die! Are you mad that someone else is trying to do better? Get your life! If someone is saying this year "I want to go to the gym." Why are you mad? Atleast she has a damn goal.

People not minding their business: This goes hand in hand with negativity. I never understood why people really like to worry about others yet aren't really worried about others. Why are you telling me Nicole is pregnant and her baby's daddy left her? Are you going to help her raise the baby? Hell, are you willing to even babysit once or twice? No? Then mind your damn business.

Talking about something & not producing results: I talked a good game for a while and often times I didn't come through. Welp, not anymore. If i'm going to do it, you won't hear about it until it's done. I'm not talking about what i'm going to do anymore, i'm just going to do it. Why tell everyone and then if it falls through you look flaky as hell. Nope, not me. Not anymore.

Trying to be perfect: For a long time I tried to maintain an image of a good christian girl. And I am a decent person, don't get me wrong, but I am not perfect by a long shot. Cuss words do slip from my mouth from time to time, I enjoy a ratchet song here and now and I like to drink like a fish; don't judge me. This doesn't make me anything but human. I accept it and if you don't, who cares? Simple.

Corporate America not accepting or embracing cultural differences:I love learning about different cultures and I especially love trying their food (I'm serious). What I don't love is the fact that corporate America still dictates what success looks like. Why should someone be made to feel uncomfortable because they are embracing their cultural background? Especially, black cultures. If I wear a natural hair afro to work why should I be subjected to people reaching their nasty unwashed hands and attempting to touch my hair? The Muslims aren't asked if their hijab can be touched so why do you want to touch my head? I'm not here for this ever and especially not in 2014. I will be giving educations on race relations right away if you touch my hair, after I go off on you. Be prepared.

Waiting for people:This year please stay ready if we have somewhere to go together. If you aren't ready, I will leave you and then call you the next day and talk to you about how much fun the event you missed was. No hard feelings, just no waiting around.

Here's to a new year not filled with old bullsh*t!

XO,

February 10, 2013

And Best Dressed At The Grammy's Goes Too...

Ms. Kelly Rowland! GIRL, you be killin' em!

I don't typically watch the Grammy's but I had it on as background noise while I caught up up on some things. Needless to say, bad idea! But I am GLAD I did! I glanced up and caught a glance of Kelly Rowland's Grammy appearance and I was speechless. She looked FABULOUS! The Georges Chakra Couture dress she was in looked so classic, yet so sexy. Her skin looked amazing. I am just in awe. Whatever you are doing Kelly, KEEP IT UP!

If I had to choose a worst dressed it would be (Don't Shoot Me, BeeHive) Beyonce! Like WHAT were you thinking?
Beyonce's jumpsuit looked like she was going out to dinner at Olive Garden. In fact, I've seen her dressed better while shopping for diapers for Blue Ivy.

Everyone else was dressed very elegantly and I was very impressed at the amount of class the celebs showed up with. Here are some of my other favs:

What did you guys think? Who is your pick for best dressed? Worst dressed?

xoxo,

 

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